Being called ‘pastor’ by someone when I am not actually their pastor is cloying. The relationship of Pastor and Congregant is a special and intimate one in which there is mutual submission. It is not a title I allow just anyone to call me — because I take it seriously. I am not part of a class bearing the title ‘pastor’ which just anyone may invoke whenever they want to manipulate me. The term denotes, at its core, a two-way relationship, moreover, an agreed upon two-way relationship, and so is not a relationship I have with everyone. To hear someone, particularly some self-important piker who has never called me ‘pastor’ during 4 years of acquaintance, suddenly use it sarcastically to bully and berate me as if I am some doormat to be walked over – nauseates and bores and disappoints me; such a creature, and I’ve met many, only use the the term ‘pastor’ selectively and passive-aggressively, especially when what they REALLY mean to say is, ‘You’re the help, and I pay the bills.’
Now this outburst of outrage is not about forgiveness or love, it is about trust. You can’t trust someone who just wants to use you for their affirmation, or who seeks to dominate you.
Trained to try to dominate and belittle, they actually think it’s okay to barge into others’ space – uninvited, they’re the the cock of the walk, right? This type of abuser rarely tries to understand, and God forbid, and ever actually asks a question; so quick to bring out the law – they are the crypto legalists, poorly taught, theologically inbred, graceless proud men whose piety is summed up by ‘keeping the Lord’s Day’ – and they know their catechism better than they know their Bible. They are men creeping among us secretly, spying out our liberty which we have in Christ Jesus that they might bring us into bondage; slow to listen, quick to bully, to manipulate others. They are kind of men and women who believe the admiration of their obsequious hirelings.
The type is so common because the men who lead in our churches are all too often chosen for reasons and qualifications which have more in common with the office of homecoming king than that of Christian Shepherd.
They serve churches in which their outside profession is actually more important than their inward character. If they just worked driving a potato chip truck, would they be elected elder in this church? Not on your life!
Yet, among the 4 or 5 best elders I’ve known is a man named Stu, a godly humble man who drove a bread truck around Wisconsin for years. Men like them, the lowlander fascists, ignored, bullied, and marginalized Stu, just as they do anyone who dares be free in his conscience, words and heart.
Just keep your distance. okay?
Musings from WinDSwept Junction 
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