Do not call me ‘pastor’ if I am not your Pastor.

Being called ‘pastor’ by someone when I am not actually their pastor is cloying. The relationship of Pastor and Congregant is a special and intimate one in which there is mutual submission.  It is not a title I allow just anyone to call me — because I take it seriously. I am not part of a class bearing the title ‘pastor’ which just anyone may invoke whenever they want to manipulate me. The term denotes, at its core, a two-way relationship, moreover, an agreed upon two-way relationship, and so it is not a relationship I have with everyone. To hear someone, particularly some self-important piker who has never called me ‘pastor’ during 4 years of acquaintance, suddenly use it sarcastically to bully and berate me as if I am some doormat to be walked over – nauseates and bores and disappoints me; such a creature, and I’ve met many, only use the the term ‘pastor’ selectively and passive-aggressively, especially when what they REALLY mean to say is, ‘You’re the help, and I pay the bills.’

Now this outburst of outrage is not about forgiveness or love, it is about trust. You can’t hate a flu virus for causing the flu – it’s what they do. And you can’t trust someone who just wants to use you for their affirmation, or who seeks to dominate you.

Trained to try to dominate and belittle, they actually believe it’s okay to barge uninvited into others’ space – well, they ARE the the cock of the walk, right? This type of abusive person rarely tries to understand, and God forbid, and to ever actually ask a question; quick to bring out the law – they are the crypto legalists, poorly taught, theologically inbred, graceless, proud men whose piety is summed up by ‘keeping the Lord’s Day,’ and keeping their own way the rest of the week. They know their catechism better than they know their Bible. They are men creeping among us secretly, spying out our liberty which we have in Christ Jesus that they might bring us into bondage; violating conscience, slow to listen, quick to bully, bent on little else than to manipulate others. They are kind of ‘professionals’ who bask in and believe the ersatz admiration of their obsequious greedy little hirelings.

What breeds this type, which is so common among us? Who can say? Is it because the men who lead in our churches are often chosen for wrong reasons? Very likely; all too often our elders are chosen, lazily trained, and voted upon by uninterested and marginal church members who are just happy someone else is willing to do the work. It is so often the case that elders are nominated based upon qualifications which have more in common with the office of homecoming king (popularity) than that of Christian Shepherd. Consequently they run around their own little socio-religious ghetto, hardly aware of their callous attitude toward the lost and their own chauvinistic inclinations, roaming about, conveniently insulated from external challenge.

And so, they occupy consistories, spiritual councils, and sessions in churches because they are wealthy, popular, simply willing, or because their outside profession is perceived to be more important than their inward character. Wisdom does not correlate with a P.E., a CPA, a J.D., Ph.D. M.D., or a D.D.S. Yet the number of such men is legion who occupy places of spiritual authority in our churches who have been installed in their office on account of their terminal initials. How many men are chosen as elders who just work driving a potato chip truck, or on a production line or fixing cars? I tell you the truth – such men are rare, and Sutch churches who would consider a man apart from his profession are even rarer. Would they be elected elder in your church? Be honest now…

Yet, among the 4 or 5 best elders I’ve known is a man named Stu, a godly, humble man who drove a bread truck around Wisconsin for years. He is internally quiet, constantly in prayer, thoughtful, and knows his Bible better than the ‘professionals’ who are his fellow elders. Such unvarnished godliness intimidates they whose gentility is merely ersatz, and so the Engineers, Accountants, Dentists, and Lawyers beat him down and marginalize him. You see, Stu was a humble man who could dissent with honor and wisely see to the heart of issues, but he did not, in the view of the rest of the elders, have the right kind of surname. The Lowlander fascists ignored, bullied, and spoke condescendingly to him, for man who fears no man jars those joyless wonders to their core – and they are jealous of a dignified and godly man who dares be free in his conscience, words, and heart.

So Scotty, just keep your distance, NCEA. Okay?