20-something lies and truths.

Lie: We apologize for the inconvenience and we appreciate your cooperation.

Truth: We aren’t competent or concerned enough about disappointing you to have what you need or correct the problem, and since you can’t do anything about it you might as well suck eggs. 

Lie: Thank you for your service.

Truth: I don’t care that you risked your life so I can have the freedom to be rude, disrespectful, and mistreat you you with impunity, now leave your backpack at the door, let me check your receipt, and shut up, you cranky old guy.

Lie: Have a nice day.

Truth: F*** off, boomer.